Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Spirit commands me to Stand in Holy Places


Moves week has come and gone!!! Getting Sisters Buhler, Burns, and Shaw off first thing in the morning was crazy! But they all made their trains and flights! As far as I know at least, then I went crazy deep cleaning our apartment! That was kinda nuts! And before I knew it I was running around trying to figure out how to pick up all three new sisters! Thankfully Sister Chapman had been to Trondheim before so she kinda knew where she was going! :) But everyone is safe and moved in successfully! 
Cooling off at night by my window

I'm really excited for this transfer, Sister Robbins is amazing! She's a huge blessing to me! And I think we're going to have a lot of grand adventures! :) And Sister Oldham and Sister Chapman are super funny too! I think it will be really good!

I have to tell you about an experience I had this past week though, before moves even happened.

Okay, I have had quite the history with bad situations and drunk or crazy men on my mission, so I tend to aviod these people like it's the plague. But on the bus, on Tuesday, we were sitting there and I was sitting just outside of the periphial vision of one such person. He was talking to himself at first, and I decided that I would just blend and try to not be the target of that kind of situation once again.
My new homies!

There was a mom on the bus with her newborn baby in a buggy, and her 3-4 year old son. She was standing by the stroller so that she could be there if her baby woke up and she accidentally made eye contact with this man. He started yelling at her, telling her that she was a terrible mother, and that she didn't love her children, and that her kids would be better off without her. I felt so trapped! I didn't know what to do! I couldn't get to the man, or to her on the overly crowded bus. And the many grown men that could have easily gotten him to shut up just sat there pretending like nothing was happening.

The woman made eye contact with me, and I gave her a re-assuring smile, not sure what else I could possibly do. She smiled back, but then her smile started to shake, her eyes welled with tears and she took several deep breaths. She pulled her sun glasses on so that no one else would see her cry. I know how she felt, I had been that person before, and I had felt so worthless, so alone. At that moment, inside I knew that it was my chance to make sure that someone did something to help her know that she wasn't alone, and that someone cared. The spirit whispered, "now it's your turn to help her."

At first I was so frustrated, "Why on earth should I help her, what would I even say? After all no one has ever been there for me, and I'm fine! She's going to be just right, and she'd probably feel awkward that I was talking to her, after all she's crying. No one likes for that to be pointed out!"

But then the spirit whispered straight into the depths of my soul, "How many times have you been in this position and wished for someone to be there for you? How often have you uttered the silent prayer for help, and not received it? You are a servant of the Lord. You are a representative of Jesus Christ. Your job is to do what He would do, and say what He would say. Would He walk away just cause He thought she might be embarrassed? Stop being selfish. Go and comfort her."

My new companion and me
I heard her tell her son that they were getting off at the next stop, right after which her little boy questioned, "mom, do you love me?" 

An extremely clear reminder of the Saviors question to Peter, "Do ye love me?" What was Peter's reply? "yea Lord, thou knowest that I love thee."

Then later the Lord said to this, His servant, "Then feed my sheep."

At this moment I felt that in that innocent little boy's question, based off the accusations of the man's shouts at his mother, with that question it was like the Lord asking me, "Sister Roe, Do you love me? Then feed my sheep. Take care of my children, show them that I am aware of them, that I love them, that I want to help them feel better." And with a gentle push off the bus, the spirit said, "Go."

The people getting off the bus consisted of this little family, me, sister Shaw, and this man. Sister Shaw, knowing of my rapp sheet with these kinds of men started to get away as fast as possible, but I couldn't do that. I had to go. So I walked towards him, to get to the woman behind him. He went to stop me, but I just pushed through, not taking the time to listen to the terrible things coming out of his mouth, and reached her side just as she was going to walk away. I didn't know what to do! I was terrified!

I reached out and touched her arm, she turned and said, "Oh, it's you!" 

I looked into her eyes and felt so much love for this stranger, "I just wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful little family, and it looks like you are a wonderful mother."

She started to cry again and I continued, "I hope that you know that you are never alone, and that you have a wonderful day."

She said to me, "I needed to hear that! That was really hard on the bus, thank you. I needed you."

Then she pulled me into a hug. As we parted her little boy said to her, "Mommy, God sends angels to watch over us, huh."
This is where I spent last pday

I don't tell you this experience to boast of my self. I honestly wouldn't have done it if the spirit hadn't been so strong. That was my challenge this week though, to do the christlike thing. To reach out. To be there, when no one else was. It was possibly the greatest teaching moment on my mission. 

Cool church with dragons on the scaffolding
I am not a perfect missionary, I'm not a perfect teacher, or contacter, or student, I'm not perfect at the language, I get tired, I am weak. But I can become better. I have come to realize more and more that I have to be the missionary that I can be. And even if that's just reaching out to someone in need, and trying the best I can at the rest of the stuff too, then that's enough. But the most important thing I can do as a missionary is to be as Christlike as I possibly can. 

There's a quote, I think I've shared it before, from Elder Ballard; 

"...When Jesus Christ becomes a reality in your life. It isn't that He somehow makes you do things you wouldn't do otherwise. Rather, you find yourself wanting to do what He would do and respond as He would reaspond in an effort to bring your life into harmony with His."

That quote to me, is the essence of missionary work! As missionaires this is what we invite others to do, but more than anything this is what we get to practice and try to develop everyday! What a blessing this gospel is! What strålende budskap we have to share and what a fantastisk invitation we have to offer! What wonderful lives we can lead!

I love you all! I miss you all! I'm praying for you all!!

Søster Roe 

1) Last pday, at the beach!
2) Sittin in the window at the end of the night! It's so hot still!!!
3) Rainbow!!!!!
4) Cool church with dragons on the scaffolding...I think that's what it's called.
5) The new household! Front, Sister Oldham, Behind her is Robbins, then Chapman and me

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